An Ode To A Legendary Reddit Comment

Dear Redditer: I saw a comment of yours tonight. In a sea of blackness: profanity, improper grammar, and trolling, your comment stood out with a blinding light. It was truly beautiful, you see, the sarcasm was well formed and sharply pointed. You reached the very heart of the subject at hand, Redditer. You did not tally in other matters, but instead diligently and honestly made your point. Your comment was sincere, you see. A rare sight on the internet of today. Your comment was neither so short that I missed it, or so long that I forgot what I was reading. No, it was three sentences. Three sentences that I began to think were not formed of mere words, but of pure power. Yes Redditer, you might not have realized it, but there is great power in your words. I was honoured to read your words Redditer, as if I was looking at a great ancient power. From what time I cannot even guess. Were your words prompted by a supernatural event, Redditer? Although it might seem absurd, perhaps something is at work here besides the possibility of birds committing copyright infringement. Perhaps this is actually a sign.

But something is wrong here. So far you have only had two upvotes. Two? Two thousand is a more pleasing number. Or twenty thousand. Or two hundred thousand. Two is a disgrace. But do not despair yet; I have a theory of how this came about. The air that we are currently are breathing has been tainted. Whenever "normal" people read your comment, it is replaced in their minds with a nonsensical piece about unicorns. Make no mistake, there are dark powers at work here. They realize if everyone was to read your comment, there would be a revolution on the Earth. People everywhere would  realize the truth; they would break the deception. And that would not do, no, that would not do at all. How do I know this, you ask? I live in a windowless sterile room with the finest of air filters. I plan ahead.

Alright, sorry about this post. You see, this is what happens when I see a hilarious comment on reddit, but am unable to do anything about it except for one lousy upvote. I couldn't exactly do anything else because no one would understand. But perhaps now I've laid enough background information that you, dear reader, can take a glimpse of the awesomeness.

Yes, they'll be tweeting angrily about the potential infringement per bird in USA that's causing job losses and profit losses for hard-working Americans and artists.
Birds should pay the periodic protection fee like the others. They also demand the right to send notices to the local government to have trees be taken down and burnt within 24 hours since some of them are venues for blatant infringements. They will give gold records to the group with the first 1000 venues cut down.

Trust me, it was better in context.