Currently, I'm fairly close with my group of friends. Not close as is in talking about personal problems (not for me, anyway. Perhaps one of these days?), or stopping from being awkward, but enough that if we are doing something I'm probably going to be invited. I don't have to worry about feeling "left out" or things like that. But I've beginning to wonder lately, have I been extending the same luxury to people I'm not as close to. If I'm starting to feel restricted to not let people into my "group of friends" who aren't in there already. If perhaps I should start inviting people to hang out with the "gang" even if I'm not best friends with them already.
Don't get me wrong, there is a BIG difference between thinking "that person is alone all the time. I should try to do this for them because they are an obviously miserable person that I should pity" and "I should be careful to not leave this super special awesome person from all this fun". Basically, any pity in this situation sort of ruins it. But still, it's kind of a big deal to try to extend beyond a defined group of "friends" to perhaps some other people who have been somewhat excluded. Okay, many of my "close" friends are in Mock Trial, and often we will get together during times convenient to Mock Trial, such as before. But for an example, let's take Cole. He's a pretty cool guy to hang around with, and he's on our Mock Trial team. But with the exception of today, we haven't really thought to ask him to hang out. Why not? I have no excuse. And what about Steven? The only time we really hanged around with him was when he tagged along with us to McDonalds to work on Mock Trial with Mark. But I can't give you a reason for why we don't do that more often.
I'm not so presumptuous to think that I am the only option some people have for social opportunities. All I know is that I should do my best to be the sort of person who reaches out to others. You know, a friendly person. Oh wait, that might be going too far. Does that mean I have to be optimistic too? Nice? Polite? Gah, I can't stand the thought.
I think back to when I was younger, such as ninth grade. I craved socializing with friends, and I would have snapped up opportunities such as these without hesitation. And yet I really didn't "hang" around with people much, just for the point of hanging out. Why? Because I hadn't gotten to know people at Marion very well. In the same way, people hadn't really gotten to know me. What if things had been different? What if this group of friends I have now had joined together two years ago instead of mostly just this year? We would have gained so many memories.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
Socializing
I'm a nerd, so it is my responsibility to over think absolutely everything. Today the thing in question will be socializing.
Although you probably don't think of it this way, one of the most important things, if not the most important skill thing in high school is learning social skills. It's kind of a big deal. The silly thing is that how I act has a direct result on pretty much everything in my life. If I act up a lot when Mrs. Flatland is around, then she probably won't think I'm mature enough to get a good part in the next play (in case you are wondering, I've pretty much put aside all thought of getting any half-way decent part in the next play). If I'm super annoying, even more so then I already am, then the natural consequence that I will be less enjoyable to be around. And let's face it, bad things stand out a lot more than good. This isn't anything new, of course. It's mere common sense and probably isn't even worth mentioning.
I think that relationships with friends would get a lot deeper if we could figure out how to deal with annoyances. It seems that we seem to be so focused on not offending or annoying others we miss out on great opportunities. You might think of this silly, but I've actually come up with a system for facebook messaging. If I've been the first one to initiate a conversation with a person several times in a row, I wait a good amount of time before starting a conversation again, even if the person in question is online and I feel liking talking to them. Actually this is more of an idea that I had and forget to implement because I'm so caught up in the thought of social interaction over the internet, but it shows that I am a little hesitant about bothering people all the time. But then take a person that I am a really, really good friend with: Ryan. With Ryan, if I see him on Facebook I'll message him instantly without a second thought. Why? Because I know Ryan well enough that I know that there is virtually nothing I could do to annoy him. As such, probably the main reason that we've become such good friends is BECAUSE of Facebook chat (so far we've had around 22,500 messages. And that's not counting all the times we've chatted on Gmail either!). Not to use Facebook as another example, but, well, to use Facebook as another example, Facebook wall posts are very similar. There are a few people I know (Ryan, Abby, Allie, Ben etc.) who I write on their walls about anything, even if it is somewhat frivolous. This is because I know that these people enjoy wall posts as much as I do, and they don't consider wall posts spam (unless I go overboard, which I probably have a few times). The point is, I can do one of the most awesome things about Facebook (writing on people's walls) often because I know that it is very unlikely that they would get annoyed. If we don't have to worry about annoying others, then we can reap much more benefits (in this case, more facebook wall posts!). In case you are wondering, this doesn't mean that I'm not social with other people who I perhaps don't know quite as well. What I'm saying here is that when we don't have to worry as much about discretion, socializing is much more enjoyable.
In case you are wondering, no, I'm not particularly self-conscious when it comes to socializing. In fact, I probably should learn to be a little more so in the future. Actually, the point of this post was to over-analyze something that we probably don't put to much thought into.
Although you probably don't think of it this way, one of the most important things, if not the most important skill thing in high school is learning social skills. It's kind of a big deal. The silly thing is that how I act has a direct result on pretty much everything in my life. If I act up a lot when Mrs. Flatland is around, then she probably won't think I'm mature enough to get a good part in the next play (in case you are wondering, I've pretty much put aside all thought of getting any half-way decent part in the next play). If I'm super annoying, even more so then I already am, then the natural consequence that I will be less enjoyable to be around. And let's face it, bad things stand out a lot more than good. This isn't anything new, of course. It's mere common sense and probably isn't even worth mentioning.
I think that relationships with friends would get a lot deeper if we could figure out how to deal with annoyances. It seems that we seem to be so focused on not offending or annoying others we miss out on great opportunities. You might think of this silly, but I've actually come up with a system for facebook messaging. If I've been the first one to initiate a conversation with a person several times in a row, I wait a good amount of time before starting a conversation again, even if the person in question is online and I feel liking talking to them. Actually this is more of an idea that I had and forget to implement because I'm so caught up in the thought of social interaction over the internet, but it shows that I am a little hesitant about bothering people all the time. But then take a person that I am a really, really good friend with: Ryan. With Ryan, if I see him on Facebook I'll message him instantly without a second thought. Why? Because I know Ryan well enough that I know that there is virtually nothing I could do to annoy him. As such, probably the main reason that we've become such good friends is BECAUSE of Facebook chat (so far we've had around 22,500 messages. And that's not counting all the times we've chatted on Gmail either!). Not to use Facebook as another example, but, well, to use Facebook as another example, Facebook wall posts are very similar. There are a few people I know (Ryan, Abby, Allie, Ben etc.) who I write on their walls about anything, even if it is somewhat frivolous. This is because I know that these people enjoy wall posts as much as I do, and they don't consider wall posts spam (unless I go overboard, which I probably have a few times). The point is, I can do one of the most awesome things about Facebook (writing on people's walls) often because I know that it is very unlikely that they would get annoyed. If we don't have to worry about annoying others, then we can reap much more benefits (in this case, more facebook wall posts!). In case you are wondering, this doesn't mean that I'm not social with other people who I perhaps don't know quite as well. What I'm saying here is that when we don't have to worry as much about discretion, socializing is much more enjoyable.
In case you are wondering, no, I'm not particularly self-conscious when it comes to socializing. In fact, I probably should learn to be a little more so in the future. Actually, the point of this post was to over-analyze something that we probably don't put to much thought into.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
The Messy Mondays Guy
On Youtube there is a channel called Blimey Cow with a regular show called Messy Mondays. You've probably seen some of his videos; people mention them on Facebook a lot. But the problem is, well, the videos just aren't that good....
I guess I just don't understand him. In The Three Types Of Churches he'll go from talking about how we should worship God through not just through music, but who we are, to ridiculing people who say "Lord" or "Father God" multiple times in a prayer. Even going as far as asking if these people think that God forgot his name and needs to be reminded and that they need to "get his attention". Excuse me bud, but last I checked it is going WAY out of line to make fun of someone just because of the way that they pray. He does a very similar thing in Ten Ways to Get Girls to Like You (yes, the things I will force myself to watch for the sake of a well-researched post). He'll switch from saying things that are idiotic to things that are in fact very wise. At #9 on his countdown he mocks girls who like photography even if they aren't very good at it. He even says that 98% of girls have no business uploading photos to Facebook. And the worst of it? He encourages guys to "encourage" these photo taking enthusiast females by deceiving said girl into thinking that they enjoy their pictures. And the whole point? To encourage her to keep on taking photographs. Woah, let's take a step back here. It's true that not every girl is a super special awesome photographer, but I don't think you should go around making fun of them for it. But then #3 on his countdown is "Keep your hands to yourself". Not only is this a wise statement, but he gives a nice example too. I just don't understand why there has to be such a big difference between the things he says.
It's just that the nature of his videos is such that he just throws opinions out there on everything. Look at this video about Facebook changes. Regarding those who complain about Facebook on he Facebook, he said that "there is not even a word for how stupid you are". He continually degrades and ridicules these people, calling them "dumb" over and over again.
Yes, I understand that he uses sarcasm a ton. I also realize that the entire point of the videos is for humour. But if you ask me, even if it is sometimes in jest, throwing out words like "hate", "idiot", and "dumb" literally all the time while describing those who don't agree with you? Excuse me if that isn't funny.
I guess I just don't understand him. In The Three Types Of Churches he'll go from talking about how we should worship God through not just through music, but who we are, to ridiculing people who say "Lord" or "Father God" multiple times in a prayer. Even going as far as asking if these people think that God forgot his name and needs to be reminded and that they need to "get his attention". Excuse me bud, but last I checked it is going WAY out of line to make fun of someone just because of the way that they pray. He does a very similar thing in Ten Ways to Get Girls to Like You (yes, the things I will force myself to watch for the sake of a well-researched post). He'll switch from saying things that are idiotic to things that are in fact very wise. At #9 on his countdown he mocks girls who like photography even if they aren't very good at it. He even says that 98% of girls have no business uploading photos to Facebook. And the worst of it? He encourages guys to "encourage" these photo taking enthusiast females by deceiving said girl into thinking that they enjoy their pictures. And the whole point? To encourage her to keep on taking photographs. Woah, let's take a step back here. It's true that not every girl is a super special awesome photographer, but I don't think you should go around making fun of them for it. But then #3 on his countdown is "Keep your hands to yourself". Not only is this a wise statement, but he gives a nice example too. I just don't understand why there has to be such a big difference between the things he says.
It's just that the nature of his videos is such that he just throws opinions out there on everything. Look at this video about Facebook changes. Regarding those who complain about Facebook on he Facebook, he said that "there is not even a word for how stupid you are". He continually degrades and ridicules these people, calling them "dumb" over and over again.
Yes, I understand that he uses sarcasm a ton. I also realize that the entire point of the videos is for humour. But if you ask me, even if it is sometimes in jest, throwing out words like "hate", "idiot", and "dumb" literally all the time while describing those who don't agree with you? Excuse me if that isn't funny.
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