Sometimes I wonder why some people are allowed on the internet. For example, take a person you know who is intelligent and witty in real life, and have a conversation with them over the internet. What happens? They transform into a monster. Suddenly, all their sentences are run-on, fragmented, or (gasp!) not properly capitalized. "You" becomes "u", "are" becomes "r", and every sentence has a "LOL" attached at the end. Or maybe they become troll bait, giving trolls a hearty meal with their opinionated ideals that they cannot back up with any evidence. Or perhaps they will believe everything they hear. No, that person with the username "hannamontanaforever1413" is not really Miley Cyrus. And no, you actually do not get a free pair of shoes if you like that Facebook page. Oh, and that program you just downloaded? That was spyware.
Who gave these people the internet? Didn't they know that they couldn't handle the responsibility? There should have been some sort of test, to ensure that they knew how to properly conduct themselves over the vast interwebs. Or perhaps a trap would work: if they try to use Internet Explorer, their computer automatically blocks the internet.
So to those who this post is directed to, I have some advice: put down the mouse, and step away from the computer, slowly. Go back to real life, you are better suited for it. Be a good person who contributes to society. That's better than what we who live on the internet can say, anyway.
*slow clap*
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